Searching within

As always with each passing day I remain

confused as to why I am, and why I are.

I realize I'm still here for a reason yet

I still wonder what that reason is. And I

wonder when I finally figure out what that

is, will I have enough time to complete it?

Also I wonder could it really be that

important of a task that I need to complete.

A Mom or a Mother, Witch is mine?

-----------------------------------
I miss my mom yet my mother is still alive.

You ask how can one miss their mom when their

mother is still alive, simple, yet so complicated.

My mother is very possessive and jealous, which

lead us to part ways 14 years ago. Yes its been

14 years since I last seen or heard from her,

and it hurts. I don't recommend such a relationship.

And after what she done to cause

our parting, disintegrated any and all trust

I had in her, reuniting with her wouldn't be worth

the price my family or I would have to wager for

such a task. And still yet a piece of me inside

longs for her. How does one deal with such pain

and heartache, I hate her yet I still love her

dearly. Each day we both get older but she doesn't

get any wiser. I feel we both will go to our grave

hating one another. The pain grows within me with

each passing sun. And that's only the tip of the

iceberg, I'm the oldest of 7 boys 5 brothers

from same mother and 3 different fathers, and 1

brother with the same father who is deceased and

a different mother a total of 6 brothers who are

caught up in her possessive and jealous ways and

whom I have also went 14 years without seeing or

hearing from. I'm a grown man of 50 years old

filled with so much pain and sorrow I often wonder

which way to turn.....

Scrambled or Poached?

Writing as you can see is not one of my

best qualities. English in general was never

my best subject, yet I can read and write. I

always at the very least tried to accomplish

the academic assignments given to me, but

somehow I always misunderstood just enough

that I couldn't shine above the rest of my

class.

I was always and find myself still today

being somewhat of a class clown. Why? well I

suppose it's my way of hiding, or ignoring the

fact that I just don't understand somethings.

Not that I don't care I just don't see things

like some people do. So I act out, but that

doesn't mean I don't try.

I believe I've gained an insight to writing

from Ms. Anthony she's strict yet compassionate,

stern yet sweet. She enjoys what she does so that

is why I tried to enjoy it. Who am I to waste her

time by being inconsiderate and not givng it my best

shot, after all I've asked to be there, I've

paid to be there, so I must want to be there. And, if

only a little bit of what she stands for rubs off onto

me, then I know I'll be a better person because of it.

I think I show signs of improvement from the first

day in her class, and I hope she sees that she's made

an impact on me and given me that college research view

(new information) towards writing. I'll always write,

only it may not be in a blog or journal, or MLA format

but rather by fondling with poetry is where I'll play

with writing.

I took her course from hearing someone speak highly

of her, and I'm very glad that I did. For one thing is

certain I will carry away from her class is this:


"When my thoughts become stalled on a writing day,

Her "PROMPT" is only a whisper away".

~Dave Freed~

-------------------------------

What went wrong?

I got to talking to someone and I lost track of time

and before I knew it I was running really late.

So naturally I rushed around trying to make up for

lost time and I wound up forgetting to do a few

things and eventually I got even further behind

then I had originally been. After that point I just

began to think about going back to bed and giving

up for the day, then I thought well if I do that

then the day will surely not get any better. So I

stopped for a moment and took a deep breath

and said to myself that it can't get any worst than

this. I was wrong, but what had gone wrong

wasn't really clear, a few minutes talking turned

into hours of lost time.

What if?

What if:

I didn’t get up?

The sun quit shining

The school caught fire?

I fall down?

I forget to stop at a red light?

The power goes off?

Smoking was good for you?

We didn’t have cars?

We didn’t have money?

If the sun quit shining the earth and all

living things would slowly die. The day the

sun quit shining would be a devastating blow

to the human race. I wouldn’t want to witness

that day. I hope I don’t ever have to witness

the day our sun quit shining. Some people don’t

like the sun in their eyes, but I don’t mind it

so much because I’ve thought of the day the sun

quit shining. Iife people would stop and think

about the day the sun quit shining they may look

at life in a different light. I’d much rather

have the sun in my eyes than to have no sun at

all. I believe all living things need sunlight.

What is in the way

I’m unsure of a lot of things that are

in the way, some things are unseen so

they are difficult to recognize. Fear

is a big factor in my way, fear of

failure, fear of pain, fear itself.

I’m lost and I fear being lost. I’m

scared and I fear being scared. I fear

God, and I most definitely fear Satan.

I feel that fear is in my way. I fear

others more than they fear me. I feel

I’m always in the way so I suppose I

could be seen as being in the way. But

can one be in the way of themselves? I

suppose they could.

~Dave~

What makes me MAD!

------------Road Rage------------


Road rage refers to a behavior that if exhibited by a

driver of an automobile or any type of a motor vehicle

may cause accidents, collisions and even death on roads.

In other words, road rage can de defined as an excessive

case of aggressive driving. Road rage can be manifested

in one of the following cases;

• Shouting verbal abuse, issuing threats or obscenities.

• All types of aggressive driving that include

unexpected braking, unexpected acceleration and

driving very close to another motorist.

• Suddenly cutting off in lane or knowingly preventing

another motorist from merging.

• Excessively flashing lights or sounding the horn

excessively.

• Displaying obscene gestures like the middle finger.

• Knowing causing a collision that involves two or

more vehicles.

• Causing commotions in the road including hitting some-

one else's vehicle with an object.

• Threatening other motorists using a gun or any other

lethal weapon.

• Hurling projectiles from a vehicle in motion with an

aim of causing damage to other vehicles.

Among the total road rage cases that have been reported

in the United States annually, 300 of them have resulted

in severe injuries or even in deaths and these statistics

are expected to increase more with time. There exists a

legal difference between aggressive driving and road rage

depending on the type of jurisdiction in use. In the

United States of America, only a small number of states

have passed special laws to deal with aggressive driving.

In these states, cases related to road rage are

treated as battery or assault and even vehicular

manslaughter especially in cases where a life is lost.

In the United States, road rage is treated as a mental

disorder in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of

Mental Disorders. According to a survey that was

conducted on 5,600 adults in the United States between

1997 and 2007, the behaviors that are associated with

roads rage are caused by intermittent explosive disorder.

Up to now, the cause of intermittent explosive disorder

has not been established although there are conflicting

views on whether road rage is a mental condition or not.

Road rage is taken as a very serious act since it’s

viewed as a threat to public safety. However, it’s

usually not easy to judge the aim or intent of the

accused and as a result, road ragers who obey when

stopped by police can be charged with minor offences

like reckless driving. This can also be interpreted to

mean that those who cause serious injuries and death

due to road rage are given severe penalties that those

applicable to the same outcomes from negligence only.

Of the total number of states in the U.S, only 14 have

enacted laws against aggressive driving .only California

has transformed “road rage into a legal term of art

through giving it an exact meaning.

LOL

A Sheer Nightgown

A husband walks into Victoria's Secret to purchase a sheer negligee for
his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500
in price -- the more sheer, the higher the price.

Naturally, he opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500, and takes it
home.

He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on, and
model it for him.

Upstairs the wife thinks (she's no dummy), 'I have an idea. It's so
sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on, but I'll do
the modeling naked, return it tomorrow, and keep the $500 refund for
myself.'

She appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose.

The husband says, 'Good Grief! You'd think for $500, they'd at least
iron it!'

He never even heard the shot.

His Funeral will be on Thursday at Noon. Closed coffin.





.......

Walking the Zoo

Well today we took the family to the Springfield

Zoo. It's been several years since they had went,

the last time they went was nearly ten years ago.

Our granddaughter wasn't even born yet, and our

grandson would of been an infant so he didn't

remember going. A few years ago we took them

all to the St. Louis Zoo. That zoo is free admission

and an aweful lot bigger and nicer. But none the less

we all had a good time.

Then we went to eat at Golden Corral before

going the my to our grandkids home for a bar-b-q later

that night and to shoot off some fireworks.

What A Place?

----------------------

What A Place
----------------------


Where the wind blows, and

Where the water flows.

Where the sky is gray,

On a winters day.

Where the sun is bright, or

Where it's always night.

Could be in your heart, or

Just shopping a K-Mart.

Maybe boating and fishing, or

Just dreaming and wishing

----------------------

One Moment Please

------------------------------

------------------------------
My personal list of why people become suicidal:

1. Mentally ill/ or unstable

2. Needing something in his/her life and can't
wait patiently for it to get to them

3. Severe loneliness/abandonment

4. Anger

5. Confusion

6. A way to escape from there problems

7. To not be a burden to society and or anyone else

8. Accomplished everything in life he or she wanted to

9. They see themselves never accomplishing
what they want to in life

10. For love

11. Sad/Sorrow

12. They Just Give-up trying

13. They lose their way or become lost

14. Scared

15. In search of GOD

16. In search of Satan

17. Afraid of dying a slow suffering death

18. Money problems

19. Sexual problems

...to be continued hopefully

~Dave~
Started 6/3/04
------------------